Tonight I watched Vacancy staring Luke Wilson (the Wilson who didn't try to kill himself) and Kate Beckinsale (of Underworld).
The movie opened with kick ass credits and scary music. I thought "yay this is good so far." But then the director's name showed up onscreen as Nimród Antal. Nimrod? Really? First warning.
About 4 minutes into the film one of the characters says "We never should have left the interstate." Second warning.
The couple ends up having little choice but to stay at a run down, roach infested, brown water running, hotel where they soon discover they are staring in a snuff film directed by the hotel's manager. 40 minutes in again Luke Wilson's character reminds us "he never should have left the interstate. Third Warning.
20 minutes later Luke reminds us again, his wife was right, he never should have left the interstate. Fourth warning.
Luke is stabbed and left on the door step of the hotel room to die until morning when Kate's character has to find a way out of the hotel. She does. She kills everyone. And lucky her, Luke's still alive! End credits.
They never did find the interstate. Dammit! But, I guess they did warn me that would happen.
What is the lesson learned from this movie? If you find yourself in a situation where you are staring in a snuff film with Luke Wilson and you are Kate Beckinsale, please have sex with Luke Wilson.
1 comment:
hahahahaha faaantastic
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